*Dusts off blog* A lot has changed since my last post: ‘BACK TO SCHOOL‘. In the past two weeks, I have been trying to find a balance in what has become my new routine. More on that later, but for now…
Back when I was in second grade (or class two, as it was called then), our teacher, when planning the class seating, would pair talkative students with quiet ones. I was not much of a talker back then (Why do you look surprised? 😏) so a classmate, who was known to tell jokes and goof quite a bit, was asked to be my sitting partner. He would usually randomly break into a narration about something that happened at home or with his older brother.
In Math class one day, my new sitting partner started talking as usual. Honestly, I was more attentive of the math lesson than what he was saying, and I ignored him. So when our teacher asked if anyone wanted to volunteer to solve the math problem she had written on the board, my hand was one of the first to shoot up. She looked around the classroom. There were many little palms waving excitedly in the air, hoping to be called so they could show how smart they were. The teacher called one of my classmates. She (my classmate) had been a bit distracted and so she was unable to solve the math problem.
My hand was still high up. “Me! Me! Me! Me!” I was flicking my little palm forwards and backwards to catch the teacher’s attention. The teacher looked in my direction, spotted my talking sitting partner and punished us both; him, for talking during the lesson, me, for ‘listening’. But that was the thing; I actually was not listening to him. Otherwise, I would not have had my hand up with so much enthusiasm, practically jumping in my seat, begging to be called to solve the math problem. I really cried that day and decided that I too would report my teacher to my mother, and she would query the teacher like the other parents used to do (fingers crossed). At least I hoped she would.
You see, my mother’s response to most complaints my early-years-self made to her was: “Don’t mind her (or him)”. So I decided I would need to ‘help’ her react differently. I made a plan to wait till my mother comes to pick me after school, then I’ll start crying all over again. (My mischievous little self😅). Well, there was no need to, because I actually cried the whole day till she came. When she arrived to pick me after school, I told her what happened and waited for her reaction. I thought, “Maybe, if I got lucky, she would handle things Robert’s (not his real name) mother’s style this time.“
Robert was my schoolmate whose mother did not hesitate to come to the school to ‘shake’ students and teachers alike. Yes, there were other parents who came to the school occasionally with one complaint or the other but Robert’s mother’s approach was fireworks, and quite frequent too. If there was a week she did not show up, that was the exception. If a fly so much as flew too close to Robert’s ear, she would be in the school causing a scene, even if that scene meant walking straight up to other students Robert reported to her for whatever, and scolding (Read as ‘confronting’) them. Of course the school had no idea because it was usually after hours, or it would not have ended well for her. Long story short, Robert eventually became that child that nobody wanted to interact with or play with for fear of being next in line for a ‘visit’ from his mother, for something you considered harmless play as a second-grader.
On multiple occasions where there has been an issue I would like to have a discussion with my child’s school about, I have asked myself: Am I Overreacting? Conversations I have had with other parents on this tells me I am not alone. One of the things that seems to keep coming back, even from people who have previously worked in education and early childhood development, is: “I don’t want to say anything so they don’t take it out on my child.” But does that mean parents cannot express any concerns or ask questions on anything at all just because they are concerned their child may pay the price?
Now older, and a mom myself, I can understand why my mother decided to focus on me and my being okay, instead of going to cause a scene at my school for every complaint. I will be sharing more on my interactions with my child’s school in my next post.
And oh, if you are wondering how my story in second grade ended with my mother, well her response was her usual: “Don’t mind her.” The entire fireworks expectation and the plan I had in mind fell in water. 🤣 🤣 🤣
All the best! Stay safe! Am I Overreacting? (II)
beyond8to5 