Nanny Relationship Dynamics (I)

I had planned to save this post till later but with my recent experiences and stories I have heard from close friends and family, I decided this would be a better start. In this post, I’ll be sharing a few things learnt from working with nannies and househelps. Most of the references here are females, but these tips can apply for male domestic helps as well. Let’s go…

My very first nanny was awesome! I still remember the comments and stories my husband and I were told when, as first-time parents, we started considering employing a nanny to assist with our baby. Well fortunately for us, things worked out really great. She eventually had to leave to go to school and finding a replacement was….hmmmm! (More on that story later) She came back to live with us a few years later to help with our second baby. She is now more like family than employee.

Of the many experiences our friends and family shared of nanny-hiring fails, one that particularly shocked me was about a 21-year-old nanny, Rosemary (not her real name). Rosemary basically wanted to call the shots in their home. She once deliberately left her employers parked out in front of their house for some minutes when they returned home from taking their sick baby to the hospital. This was her way of registering her displeasure with them for not taking her along. Imagine being put on a time out in front of your gate when you return from the hospital with your sick baby. You peep over your gate out of curiosity for what may be keeping your nanny from coming, only to you see your nanny watching you through the front windows of the house, refusing to let you into the house as ‘punishment’ for leaving her home alone.😦 On the daily, Rosemary’s mood swings were the determinant of the atmosphere in the whole house, and her employers out of fear of what may be done to their 4-month-old in their absence, would usually walk on eggshells around her, in order not to upset her. Eventually, the nanny quit. Talk of good riddance!

You would wonder why Miss My-mood-determines-your-day was not fired immediately she started being disrespectful and rude. Why did they put up with it for even a day?

I too have hired some ‘interesting’ nannies since my first amazing nanny. And one thing with dealing with househelps and nannies is that, it can get tricky, complicated even. And if not handled carefully and tactfully, there is no telling what danger you could be putting your family into. You are probably thinking:

‘She may be frowning, giving attitude and rolling her eyes but at least the house is clean.’

‘If I treat her like family and give her space to do whatever she wants, she will take good care of the baby/children.’ (Ha! Should I tell you some real life experiences, mine inclusive?)

Your home is YOUR home. You should be able to relax, unwind and bond with your spouse and kids, without having to walk on eggshells around your employee. That is not to say though, that you should be rude and disrespectful to your help or nanny. The relationship should be built on mutual respect and understanding, like it is with other relationships.

So, how do you set the right tone in your home when you employ your househelp or nanny?

I will be sharing some of what has worked for me in my next post.

Stay safe!

Photo credit: Pinterest

Did you employ a nanny/help? How did it go/how is it going? I’d love to hear your experiences, questions and comments!